1) Coming out isn’t always the ultimate queer goal. There are some people I will NEVER come out to, for my own safety and health. There are some people I won’t come out to simply because it doesn’t come up, or because I’m not close to them, or because I’m tired and don’t feel like it. That’s okay! I’m so so happy no matter what that this wonderful day is here to support queers who DO want to come out in some way today, so long as they know they don’t HAVE to- not now, and not ever.

2) Coming out isn’t a one-time thing. Coming out can happen as often as every day, if you interact with many new people. And it doesn’t necessarily get easier over time. For me it’s always a little stressful, but it’s easier when those I’m coming out to have already thought about what to say when someone comes out to them, instead of shocked silence or stuttering.

3) If you’re straight, you can post about this day in support (actually I’d love to see straight peopleĀ promo this). But for the love of god don’t come out as straight!!!! It sounds silly but I see it every year!!!

4) People can come out as one thing, and later come out as a different thing! Sexuality and gender and circumstances are fluid and confusing and evolving and that is totally valid. It isn’t lying or a betrayal. I’m so proud and happy for everyone doing what they gotta do to be true to themselves

5) NO ONE owes it to you to come out. Not your relative, not your best friend, not your coworker or classmate. If someone doesn’t want to come out that’s their business, and it’s about them, and not about you.

6) Please don’t tell people how to feel when coming out. Some people feel great when coming out. Some people feel horrible. Some people feel both simultaneously, or something else entirely. Society tells us, “You HAVE to be scared to come out! Everyone is!!” and also, “How dare you be scared to come out to your friends, what, are you calling them homophobes?!” That’s some hella fucked up mixed messaging.

So like, let queer people feel what they feel, you know? That’s kinda the whole point.

 

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